A I don't really know what to say about this particular story. A teenage girl, Emily, loses both of her parents one day, and she and her brother Caleb have to move in with the Harmon's. Everything seems wonderful, until she starts seeing things that shouldn't exist, and Mr. Harmon starts to act more and more deranged. The characterization was lacking, and it really felt like no one had much of a personality at all. At the same time, there were multiple plotholes and loose threads, and the final ending felt abrupt. Plus, the fact that Emily's parents were killed by Harmon himself was not much of a twist.
I questioned the purposes of even having Caleb and Rosemary in the story, as they do nothing but add creepiness. Everything that happens seemed to happen merely for the "twist" factor, and nothing anyone did felt particularly logical.
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The twist with Mrs. Harmon at the end felt very deux ex machina, and somehow the events of the story didn't leave Emily with much in the way of PTSD even though she witnessed such horrible things. Perhaps I would have to read the sequel to this in order to see that, but I suppose that I'm not invested enough in any of the characters to necessarily want to see their stories continue. The overall writing was juvenile, to say the least, and without the scary gifs the story would be a lot weaker.
Nothing in this story felt scary except for the gifs and the gruesome descriptions. I would not say that you need eloquent, poetic writing in order to write a horror story that would really detract from the horror , but clean, concise writing that effectively builds tension goes a long way. Yes, the protagonist is a 14 year old girl, but that doesn't mean that the story should feel like it is being written by a 14 year old girl. The writing style in this story was so rambling that I couldn't tell if the author had any idea where she was taking this.
I imagine that if I had been reading this in pieces, waiting week after week for a new installment, I would be kept on the edge of my seat anticipating the next chapter, simply because I had no idea what was coming.
The description of Horror Story:Hidden Silence
Still, Miss Toney has spirit and she has creativity. Most importantly, she has a clear willingness to learn from her mistakes and improve. I wish her the best of luck for her future writings! Dec 05, Danielle Boelter rated it it was amazing. Personal response: I thought this book was really good. It was very attention grabbing which made me want to keep reading. Also, I liked that the author made the creatures very detailed. This book is really exciting to because new things were happening every chapter.
Personal Data Collected
Plot: A brother and a sister,Emily and Caleb,lose their parents and they are forced to live with the Harmons. Emily doesn't like the new house and new family but Caleb loves it. Emily gets finally meets new people at a old house down t Personal response: I thought this book was really good. Emily gets finally meets new people at a old house down the street. Then she finds out that her friends are ghosts and Mr. Harmon has their souls. Then everything in the Harmon's home changes like her brother won't talk to her, Mr.
Harmon won't talk to her,and only Mrs.
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Harmon talked too her. Until one night Mr. The game was like hide and seek but the person that was "it" had to kill someone for it to be the next round. As they were playing the game, Emily goes into a room and finds the book that has all the ghosts souls. She lets out the souls and everyone comes back to life and Harmons die. Soon after everyone was living the same like it was before Emily's parents died. Recommend: This book would be good for people that like horror and mystery. Also, I feel that this book would be better for someone that is older and doesn't get scared easily.
Jul 27, Charli rated it really liked it Shelves: read-in I wasn't disappointed at all. While the writing seemed a bit juvenile at times, I was able to chalk that up to the fact that the story is being told from the perspective of a fourteen year old girl. That makes it a lot easier to see why the writing would seem to be juvenile at times - the narrator is juvenile herself. I was impressed by this novel because it was a quick read and kept my interest. I wanted to know what was going on.
I wanted to know what was happening next. That's a rarity for me with stories on Wattpad. Most of the stories I find on Wattpad are either fan fiction stories of some sort or are so poorly written that I can't even consider finishing them.
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There were a few "spooky" gifs thrown in among the pages, but they weren't randomly placed, they were meant to be illustrations for the story. But all in all it was a very good story and I can't wait to find the sequels on Wattpad and read them as well. Jun 20, Chandler Hinton rated it really liked it.
OK, so From a professional writing standpoint? This book gets around two stars, plain and simple. The writing is a bit on the amateur end, and there are some iffy plot points; it isn't the strongest book. BUT considering this is a Wattpad book, an amateur website, I'm going to give it the benefit of doubt because it is marginally better than many of the books on this website. Therefore, my review with be marginally lighter because this isn't a book coming out of HarperTeen or Scholastic or so OK, so Therefore, my review with be marginally lighter because this isn't a book coming out of HarperTeen or Scholastic or some other publishing house.
She's just OK. I do like how much she cares for her brother. I don't have much else to say about her. Still, his character is semi-decent. Harmon - Eh. She's kind of cheesy and flat. Not the best character. Her dialogue comes off as the "oh, I'm just your typical suburban housewife, don't mind me!
Harmon - Well, OK, he saves this cast for mediocrity.
He's probably one of the more developed characters and I like him. I know that it's a Wattpad book, and those don't have the strongest plot, but even then, this plot is weak as hell. Her parents die suddenly, which is cliche, and then, within one day she's relocated to the Harmon's; and she's never questioned about her parent's death or anything. Of course, relocation is the ultimate goal, I highly doubt that it would happen the next day.
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Also, Emily and Caleb were the only two witnesses in the house; you best believe that they're going to be questioned, and they're going to deal with caseworkers, and therapists, and detectives, and attorneys, and they're going to be at the trial. They're gonna be hella busy. Other than that, the plot is OKish.
enter site I think that Toney has a struggle with keeping her "character voice" and her "writer voice. This book had me on the edge of my seat throughout the entire things, and I really commend the writer for that. I really feel like there wasn't there enough space to develop the characters before we jumped into the wild climax, and that made the entire story come off as rather flat in places because I couldn't relate to the characters because I knew barely anything about them. I'd also like to leave a note for the author, in case they ever see this review, which they probably won't because I'm irrelevant.
But I just wanted to say that I sound rather mean in this review, but I actually enjoyed your book especially for not having to pay for it. Keep writing, and I'll soon have your bestsellers on my shelf. A three stars Mar 23, Michelle Quinn rated it liked it. I first picked this book because it was free and a Wattys winner Wattpad contest.